Please do not park your vehicles here (although you can park your homes if you like)!
- atoz ztoa
- Hinglish (n): A combination of Hindi (and other Indian languages) and English generally spoken by people who live in urban India. Interestingly, although there are very few self-proclaimed Hinglish speakers, it is a language that is evolving faster than more widely recognized dialects. Observers of this evolution are frequently amused, irritated or upset by the resultant expressions. We, part of a fast-dwindling minority of Indian, first-language English speakers, share our reflections here.
Friday, 9 March 2012
Thursday, 8 March 2012
H is for 'Horn OK Please'
Nobody will be able to identify the author of the most prevalent phrase (written in English, mind you) on the rear end of these motorway monsters - nor will anyone be able to make sense of it as a sentence. Nevertheless, we shall all continue to horn ok please.
P is for Picked
Have you ever been picked? Chances are you have and you didn't even know it! This may have happened at stations, at the airport, at school, at work etc. And no, this does not mean that you won a prize or were selected for some particularly wonderful (or heinous) experience. In Hinglish, the word picked refers to the act of picking someone up or giving them a ride to/from (but not limited to) the places listed above.
Text messages may read: "Shall I pick you?" I have at times responded, "For what?" To which the pickers' replies have varied from, "Not for what, duffer (this word will be covered later), from where" to "for the movie."
Being picked does show generosity of spirit on the part of the picker, if not on the part of the reluctant pickee. Therefore, when asked this I generally tend to refrain from my particular brand of snarkiness and gratefully accept the offer.
Text messages may read: "Shall I pick you?" I have at times responded, "For what?" To which the pickers' replies have varied from, "Not for what, duffer (this word will be covered later), from where" to "for the movie."
Being picked does show generosity of spirit on the part of the picker, if not on the part of the reluctant pickee. Therefore, when asked this I generally tend to refrain from my particular brand of snarkiness and gratefully accept the offer.
Friday, 22 July 2011
Ch as in Puncher and Lecher
No, the blog is not taking a violent/perverted turn! Unless you count the murder of the letter combination -ct.
Years ago, a professor at a reputed women's college in Bangalore city told me that people frequently called her a "lecherer" and that this had proved to be alternately annoying and embarrassing. I did not believe it! I thought she was exaggerating, and that she had a hyper sensitive ear for English. Fast forward ten years, and there I was, listening to someone tell me that a gentleman she had recently met only used "lecher method." She did not mean that he preyed on young girls with lascivious eyes and wandering hands! Apparently, this poor unsuspecting gentleman liked to talk a lot, and did not allow anyone to get a word in edgewise. Unfortunately, in our conversation he was hanged (and no, I really do not mean hung. Look it up, folks!) for a completely different crime.
The day I had this "lecher" conversation, another person also mentioned to me that she needed to get her car tire punchered (the erroneous usage of the word will be dealt with in a subsequent post). But it appears that even mispronunciations have a pattern. It turns out that Hinglish speakers do not like the -ct combination in words like puncture and lecture. We prefer to substitute the combination -ch instead so puncture becomes puncher, and lecture becomes lecher.
This can prove to be incredibly confusing - particularly when people tell you that they recently met a lecherer (thought blurb: Did he feel you up or just undress you with his eyes?) or that their tire has a puncher (thought blurb: Really? Like a bouncer? How lucky! I thought only bars had bouncers on their payroll).
If someone tells you about a puncher or lecher, substitute -ch with -ct in your head and try to keep from laughing. You don't want to be the next person to be lechered or punchered!
Years ago, a professor at a reputed women's college in Bangalore city told me that people frequently called her a "lecherer" and that this had proved to be alternately annoying and embarrassing. I did not believe it! I thought she was exaggerating, and that she had a hyper sensitive ear for English. Fast forward ten years, and there I was, listening to someone tell me that a gentleman she had recently met only used "lecher method." She did not mean that he preyed on young girls with lascivious eyes and wandering hands! Apparently, this poor unsuspecting gentleman liked to talk a lot, and did not allow anyone to get a word in edgewise. Unfortunately, in our conversation he was hanged (and no, I really do not mean hung. Look it up, folks!) for a completely different crime.
The day I had this "lecher" conversation, another person also mentioned to me that she needed to get her car tire punchered (the erroneous usage of the word will be dealt with in a subsequent post). But it appears that even mispronunciations have a pattern. It turns out that Hinglish speakers do not like the -ct combination in words like puncture and lecture. We prefer to substitute the combination -ch instead so puncture becomes puncher, and lecture becomes lecher.
This can prove to be incredibly confusing - particularly when people tell you that they recently met a lecherer (thought blurb: Did he feel you up or just undress you with his eyes?) or that their tire has a puncher (thought blurb: Really? Like a bouncer? How lucky! I thought only bars had bouncers on their payroll).
If someone tells you about a puncher or lecher, substitute -ch with -ct in your head and try to keep from laughing. You don't want to be the next person to be lechered or punchered!
Thursday, 30 June 2011
S is for sides
No, this is not another post about backsides. Rather, this is a commentary on the peculiar affinity that Hinglish speakers seem to have for their sides. Sides are constantly referred to in daily conversation - one's own (i.e. my side) or the sides of others (his side/her side/your side).
For instance, it is not uncommon to hear someone ask if you need anything else from their side. This generally happens at the end of a long discussion during which they have presented some information at top speed. This is not a friendly offer to donate a kidney or other internal organ. More often than not, this is an offer to continue to explain you further (i.e. continue to explain to you).
Generally, this (mis)use of the word side has me itching to retort in the following vein:
a. Nothing further is required from my side (really? could have sworn all the words came out of my mouth!)
b. All the work is complete from their side (and I was under the mistaken impression that their fingers did all the typing).
c. They will get this to us from their side (I would really prefer my documents without a side of bile and other internal fluids)
Non-Hinglish speakers should just replace from your/his/her/my/their side with from you/him/her/me/them and understand that the whole sentence is just a literal translation from Hindi. mere taraf se, literally, from my side.
It is at moments like these when I am reminded of my French professor who often said, "French is not a translation of English. Don't try to think in English and then translate to French. Think in French!" If only it were that simple!
For instance, it is not uncommon to hear someone ask if you need anything else from their side. This generally happens at the end of a long discussion during which they have presented some information at top speed. This is not a friendly offer to donate a kidney or other internal organ. More often than not, this is an offer to continue to explain you further (i.e. continue to explain to you).
Generally, this (mis)use of the word side has me itching to retort in the following vein:
a. Nothing further is required from my side (really? could have sworn all the words came out of my mouth!)
b. All the work is complete from their side (and I was under the mistaken impression that their fingers did all the typing).
c. They will get this to us from their side (I would really prefer my documents without a side of bile and other internal fluids)
Non-Hinglish speakers should just replace from your/his/her/my/their side with from you/him/her/me/them and understand that the whole sentence is just a literal translation from Hindi. mere taraf se, literally, from my side.
It is at moments like these when I am reminded of my French professor who often said, "French is not a translation of English. Don't try to think in English and then translate to French. Think in French!" If only it were that simple!
Saturday, 18 June 2011
C is for Confiscate
Although 'Confiscate' is an English word, some statistics may reveal that 87% of its usage (in all forms) is on Indian soil. This may be because more things are confiscated in India than in any other country in the world. Or it just may be that the word has found a permanent place in the Hinglish language.
The other 13% includes NRIs (12%), and British men and women born before 1921 (1%). Nobody else ever seems to have anything confiscated.
Now to find a truly Hinglish word, I give to you 'Confesticate' - used interchangeably with 'Confiscate', but not found in any non-Hinglish dictionary. It really is amazing how some words can be picked-up by thousands of people in a country, and used so frequently. Everyone is certain that spell-check must be wrong to suggest 'Domesticate' as an alternative word.
The other 13% includes NRIs (12%), and British men and women born before 1921 (1%). Nobody else ever seems to have anything confiscated.
Now to find a truly Hinglish word, I give to you 'Confesticate' - used interchangeably with 'Confiscate', but not found in any non-Hinglish dictionary. It really is amazing how some words can be picked-up by thousands of people in a country, and used so frequently. Everyone is certain that spell-check must be wrong to suggest 'Domesticate' as an alternative word.
Monday, 9 May 2011
G is for goggles
Recently, I've been thinking about buying a pair of sunglasses. I mentioned this to a friend, then we had the following conversation:
Friend: "Where will you be buying your goggles from?"
Me: "I'm not buying goggles. I haven't been swimming in ages."
Friend: "How is swimming related to goggles?"
Me: "Don't you wear them underwater?"
Friend: "No, you wear them in the sun."
Me: "Oh, you mean sunglasses?"
Friend: "Yes, sunglasses or goggles. What is the difference?"
Some days I wonder whether it is worth the effort to actually point out the difference, then I realize that it will probably be a waste of breath and probably cause some hurt feelings, so I hold my tongue. However, for those interested, I will explain you!
In Hinglish, the words goggles and sunglasses are often used interchangeably. When people talk to you about goggles, 9 times out of 10, they are not talking about the stuff you wear under water. "Cooling glass" or "cooling glasses," words made famous by the Vikram MC and Luda Krishna song Welcome to India are other words which may be substituted for sunglasses.
When these words are used in conversation, they are not to be confused with eye protection for adventure sports or with processes which occur in physics labs! They merely refer to the humble sunglasses.
Friend: "Where will you be buying your goggles from?"
Me: "I'm not buying goggles. I haven't been swimming in ages."
Friend: "How is swimming related to goggles?"
Me: "Don't you wear them underwater?"
Friend: "No, you wear them in the sun."
Me: "Oh, you mean sunglasses?"
Friend: "Yes, sunglasses or goggles. What is the difference?"
Some days I wonder whether it is worth the effort to actually point out the difference, then I realize that it will probably be a waste of breath and probably cause some hurt feelings, so I hold my tongue. However, for those interested, I will explain you!
In Hinglish, the words goggles and sunglasses are often used interchangeably. When people talk to you about goggles, 9 times out of 10, they are not talking about the stuff you wear under water. "Cooling glass" or "cooling glasses," words made famous by the Vikram MC and Luda Krishna song Welcome to India are other words which may be substituted for sunglasses.
When these words are used in conversation, they are not to be confused with eye protection for adventure sports or with processes which occur in physics labs! They merely refer to the humble sunglasses.
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